Epilogue “Private Writings” [Special Message] EN FIN

private writings a novel of true fantasy by jennifer kiley [shawn's 2d blue name]

EPILOGUE
PRIVATE WRITINGS: A NOVEL OF TRUE FANTASY
Written by Jennifer Kiley
Post Tuesday 4th November 2014

WARNING: ADULT LANGUAGE AND CONTENT
Not Suitable For Children.
ALL CHARACTERS ARE FICTITIOUS.
Anyone Resembling Anyone Living or Dead
Is Purely Coincidental.

1 alice-down-the-rabbithole [use best one]

Crypticistic Synopsis:

private writings to dr. annie haskell psychoanalyst

I am the storyteller using imagination fantasy feelings & thoughts

to discover self soul eternal serenity & bliss

but to most importantly tell the best tale ever after upon a time.

see you down the rabbit hole.

blue dreams (c) jkm 2014

blue dreams (c) jkm

Epilogue
[only meant for the seers to understand time to come]

I feel a need to end this part of the journey with one last jolting note. As I was prepared to spend my day with Alison and Scottie I checked my emails. There was one from Annie. Her e-mail stated: “My husband is missing in action. He has been MIA since I first arrived in Europe a few weeks ago. It seems like centuries. We meet as soul mates through the oddest circumstances. Something needs to be done about it. I will be home when the two years are up. Honest. I mean it. Love, Annie.”

I don’t know what to make of the words Annie wrote. What does this all mean? We’ll all find out together.

For now this is all I want to write.

But this is far from over. I believe we will all be together again.

Love,

Madison

(c) jkm 2014

[for me this statement means more to me now than ever] “I think writing really helps you heal yourself. I think if you write long enough, you will be a healthy person. That is, if you write what you need to write, as opposed to what will make money, or what will make fame.“ — Alice Walker

AN Afterthought I feel needs to be said before I stop writing for now. It is a letter filled with my feelings for you, Annie Haskell. You were my psychoanalyst but you were also my friend. I built up such intense feelings for you. I wrote this in hopes someday you may understand how being with you made me feel about you.

Dear Annie,

I believe I am in love with you. After the last time I saw you, I went someplace where I could be alone with my thoughts only of you. You looked so beautiful. Your smile showed me you really cared. It wasn’t a pay by the hour arrangement between us that makes you care. You do care for me as I do for you.

I want to feel your arms around me, holding me close to you. And I want to feel my arms pulling you close into my body. It feels so right for us to share these brief moments. They are timeless. The feelings stayed within me when I had to leave.

What part of me stayed behind with you?

Can we share this feeling of love someday again? Together can we be in love & feel it is alright to feel so close. I only imagine you feel this way but inside, deep inside my heart, I hold you forever.

This very moment, I would like to feel my lips touching your skin. Kissing your lips. In this moment, I want the sensations to start & never end. I want you to be mine forever. But I don’t want to own you or claim all of your time. I just want to feel our love together.

Always,
Madison

Ps. I love you Annie. Always & Forever. Are you the One? I feel the answer is yes.


Coming Back To Life – David Gilmour – Royal Albert Hall

 

5 photo of white rose with red framed in blue

“A Dream
The beginning always starts out
With a dream.
It is all a dream
In our own nightmares”
— Madison Taylor

play is not just play meryl streep“Pretending is not just play.
Pretending is imagined possibility”
— Meryl Streep

 *       *       *       *       *       *       *

[Final Chapter] Private Writings: Chapter #85 A Momentary Pause

private writings a novel of true fantasy by jennifer kiley [shawn's 2d blue name]

“A Momentary Pause”
Private Writings #85
Written by Jennifer Kiley
Post Tuesday 28th October 2014

WARNING: ADULT LANGUAGE AND CONTENT
Not Suitable For Children.
ALL CHARACTERS ARE FICTITIOUS.
Anyone Resembling Anyone Living or Dead
Is Purely Coincidental.

1 alice-down-the-rabbithole [use best one]

Crypticistic Synopsis:

private writings to dr. annie haskell psychoanalyst

I am the storyteller using imagination fantasy feelings & thoughts

to discover self soul eternal serenity & bliss

but to most importantly tell the best tale ever after upon a time.

see you down the rabbit hole.

Private Writings: Chapter #84 — “A Momentary Pause”

Tuesday 21st April 2009

Dear Maria,

Homecoming for Me. Scottie is throwing me her most outrageous party to date. All is well  but only temporarily. Nightmares need to be traveled through to get to the lighter side. I look forward to working with you, Maria Lopez Falcón. I need time to  recover. With your help, I will find my world again and get back to my future time to come and enjoy my new growth. Working on my play and then my screenplay. That will be a tell all. The play about a transsexual in transition. Fun times. If we remember how hard it is to be alive.

The end is near. No more to write today. I want to join the party. So for now Good Night.

Su Loca Cliente

Madison

© Madison Taylor 2008

*       *       *       *       *       *       *


Coming Back To Life – David Gilmour – Royal Albert Hall

 

5 photo of white rose with red framed in blue

“A Dream
The beginning always starts out
With a dream.
It is all a dream
In our own nightmares”
— Madison Taylor

Le Chateau de Rocher - Home to Madison & Scottie Their Cats & daughter Alison. She has her own place on the estate

Le Chateau de Rocher – Home to Madison & Scottie
Their Cats & daughter Alison. She also has her own place on the estate

play is not just play meryl streep“Pretending is not just play.
Pretending is imagined possibility”
— Meryl Streep

 *       *       *       *       *       *       *

Private Writings: Chapter #84 “The Conspirators”

private writings a novel of true fantasy by jennifer kiley [shawn's 2d blue name]

“The Conspirators”
Private Writings #86
Written by Jennifer Kiley
Post Tuesday 14th October 2014

WARNING: ADULT LANGUAGE AND CONTENT
Not Suitable For Children.
ALL CHARACTERS ARE FICTITIOUS.
Anyone Resembling Anyone Living or Dead
Is Purely Coincidental.

1 alice-down-the-rabbithole [use best one]

Crypticistic Synopsis:

private writings to dr. annie haskell psychoanalyst

I am the storyteller using imagination fantasy feelings & thoughts

to discover self soul eternal serenity & bliss

but to most importantly tell the best tale ever after upon a time.

see you down the rabbit hole.

Private Writings: Chapter #84 — “The Conspirators”

Tuesday 21st April 2009

Dear Maria,

I am writing this letter to “Whom It May Concern” at the FBI. I am sending this, as the accuser, with know witnesses, to you at the FBI and to the Mastermind of a Secret Organization. I will explain. There have been an innumerable number of assassinations/murder for hire & sacrifice. One of these murders took place at “LE FEAST” an annual event for WUFFDE. Invitation only. Rotating locations. This past one at the Auction following, the painting “Vase with Lychnisny” by Vincent Van Gogh, missing from WWII was on the block. It is also when my friend Angela Huntington was being murdered. She dies later but it happened at “Le Feast.”

Van_Gogh_-_Vase_mit_Pechnelken

Van Gogh “Vase with Lychnisny”

But then you know all of this information don’t you Clifford Huntington.

How many others have been destroyed in your groups ways of illumination. The Empyreum, I believe your underground organization as to by the Rich and Famous. How ma are you responsible for. In another way of asking, How many wanted people taken out for their own personal success. Even you had to sacrifice. Who did you let go to the chopping block. The injection club. The crash & burn club? Lost count.

What about the auction the The Feast. A painting lost in the war was put up for bid to attract millions. Maybe even a billion dollars. What painting did you have this year? None other that a [“Vase with Lychnis” by Vincent Van Gogh]. It’s outrageous the way you flaunt your wealth and power. It must cease. We know who you are. We know from the inside.

That is all I wish to say.

The Secret Keeper

Ps. Directly to the FBI. You cannot have declared all that these Degenrates have done as accidents or suicides. INVESTIGATE. But you won’t. They don’t want you to.

© Madison Taylor 2008

*       *       *       *       *       *       *


The Godfather Theme Song

 

5 photo of white rose with red framed in blue

“A Dream
The beginning always starts out
With a dream.
It is all a dream
In our own nightmares”
— Madison Taylor

Le Chateau de Rocher - Home to Madison & Scottie Their Cats & daughter Alison. She has her own place on the estate

Le Chateau de Rocher – Home to Madison & Scottie
Their Cats & daughter Alison. She also has her own place on the estate

play is not just play meryl streep“Pretending is not just play.
Pretending is imagined possibility”
— Meryl Streep

 *       *       *       *       *       *       *

black_shamrock_ribbon green reverse

Private Writings: Chapter #83 “THE FEAST” aka “La fête”

private writings a novel of true fantasy by jennifer kiley [shawn's 2d blue name]

“The Feast”
Private Writings #83
Written by Jennifer Kiley
Post Tuesday 14th October 2014

WARNING: ADULT LANGUAGE AND CONTENT
Not Suitable For Children.
ALL CHARACTERS ARE FICTITIOUS.
Anyone Resembling Anyone Living or Dead
Is Purely Coincidental.

1 alice-down-the-rabbithole [use best one]

Crypticistic Synopsis:

private writings to dr. annie haskell psychoanalyst

I am the storyteller using imagination fantasy feelings & thoughts

to discover self soul eternal serenity & bliss

but to most importantly tell the best tale ever after upon a time.

see you down the rabbit hole.

Private Writings: Chapter #83 — “THE FEAST”

Letters #83 “THE FEAST” 8th April 2009

Dear Maria,

Angela, [Angie], started to describe to all the ghosts and myself, not a ghost, what she remembered of the evening she was murdered. What the motives were. What the murder weapon was. A bite too much of something good. She heard her husband Clifford Huntington, of the New Port Huntington’s, who knows for sure. He was talking to a woman in full flirt with him. He wasn’t resisting. He told her he would be free soon to marry her. Poison was the name of the game, to go into her piece of game.

It was a terrible Movable Feast. There is much to say but I don’t want to wander. Angela belonged to the underground group publicly called WUFFDE [World Union Foundation for Doctors Everywhere]. A front. There funds helped the sick & weak unwanted in countries overseas. Barely noticeable to the World. Not really to WUFFDE either. It was a cover. They really didn’t give a shit. [tha truth stated in a song: “…”…some people were born not to help people…”]

They held a Private Party each year. The buy in was $500,000. “The Movable Feast” was the fond name they used to call it because each year “The Feast” moved to another unknown location, not even to members. Fear of being discovered. Reason, they eat endangered species of animals through their feasting.

But back to the murder. Angela thought her friends were real. Not so. They were sycophants sucking up to the succubus Clifford Huntington. He was actually having an assassin kill his wife so his hands would remain pure. Reason for the sacrifice: to earn points and lots of money and Power.

Where was the poison actually hidden, her husband, Clifford told his tramp girlfriend, it was in the main course. The server would have a special exotic rare flower on Angela’s plate. No flavor existing to detect its presence. Angela ate everything that was served her through the multi-coursed menu. From exotic animals, the Turtles from the Galapagos, turned into a form of soap, Okapi & Bonobo, both endangered of being non-existent. Did these heartless group give a shit. Of course not. Not one of them. They drank their Cristal, 1988

This Year’s Menu Galore: the Theme from the film “Babette’s Feast” blended with the theme of the jungle and barbarians.

M E N U

Theme is In the Night of the Jungle

Choice of Film Feast

Babette’s Feast

An Exotic Meal

Three Choices of Meat: Okapi (Giraffe Family but Smaller)
A Bongo & Saiga (Last Are Variety of Antelope)

Turtle soup

Puffer fish (Fugu) – sushi-mi

Crystal 1988 & 2006

Caviar – Beluga

Makers Mark; Glen Fiddich ; Aquavit ; Welsh whiskey

Grey goose ; Cognac ; Absinthe

*******

Babette’s Feast

The menu responsible for their pleasure features

“Blini Demidoff au Caviar”
(buckwheat cakes with caviar and sour cream);

“Potage la Tortue” (turtle soup); ”

Caille en Sarcophage avec Sauce Perigourdine”
(quail in puff pastry shell with foie gras and truffle sauce);
[replaced with the choice of Okapi or Bonobo & prepared accordingly]

“La Salad”
featuring Belgian endive
and walnuts in a vinaigrette;
[altered to taste]

Les Fromages” featuring
Blue Cheese,
papaya,
figs,
grapes
and pineapple.

The grand finale dessert is

“Savarin au Rhum avec des Figues et Fruit Glace”
(rum sponge cake with figs and glazed fruits).

Numerous rare wines,
including Clos de Vougeot,

various champagnes [Cristal] and spirits,
complete the menu.

Babette’s purchase of the finest china, flatware, crystal and linens with which to set the table ensures that the luxurious food and drink is served in a style worthy of Babette, who is none other than the famous former Chef of “Café Anglais”. Babette’s previous occupation has been unknown to the sisters until she confides in them after the meal.

*       *       *       *       *       *       *

Not to mention the decadence and carelessness of such a menu but it disguised not only the murder of the wild creatures sacrificed but Angela was one of the rare who met her demise. And now we knew part of the picture. Huntington was a mastermind sociopath. What else was he capable of doing if her could cold bloodedly murder his wife without doing a thing except hire the assassins. There had been other attempts on Angela’s life but they never were pulled off successfully. But one murder is enough. But there were more and will be more if Huntington is not stopped.

Sylvia told me she figured out he killed her father Sidney Vincent, the film director. His people did. Her father was going to expose them in a film he was in the process of making during his off time from playing doctor. A bit bipolar was her father. It is what gave him his energy and his madness. Catherine couldn’t deal with his behavior. She turned to CH, Clifford. Yes, she had Sidney infected with the AIDS virus in a strong strain. He was dead in due course.

Sylvia had to be shut up because she found these things out after she died. Her father told her when they met up as ghosts. Those who were murdered were all coming forward. Their deaths were either deemed suicide or accidental deaths.

Madison felt she had to communicate this to the police as quickly as possible before so someone charted for death could be prevented.

What do you make of this Maria? A secret organization which arranges high profile deaths & they cover them up so deeply no one who speaks against the cause of death is believed. They are judged to be the crazy ones imagining the bizarre & weird. Everyone laughs and moves on continually.

Well, I plan on making a run at this one. Even though being in Redcliff might prejudice my case. I will have to have Scottie’s help. First by getting me out of Redcliff. It must be done. It is the only way the ghosts I have met will be set free. Released to go home or reincarnate. They may have had enough of life but maybe not.

That is enough for now. This one’s a whooper.
Night,
Madison

Ps. I am not crazy nor am I making this whole thing up. Ghosts told me the whole story. As much as they have been able to sort out on their own.

© Madison Taylor 2008

“I think writing really helps you heal yourself. I think if you write long enough, you will be a healthy person. That is, if you write what you need to write, as opposed to what will make money, or what will make fame.“ — Alice Walker

Schubert – “Serenade

5 photo of white rose with red framed in blue

“A Dream
The beginning always starts out
With a dream.
It is all a dream
In our own nightmares”
— Madison Taylor

Le Chateau de Rocher - Home to Madison & Scottie Their Cats & daughter Alison. She has her own place on the estate

Le Chateau de Rocher – Home to Madison & Scottie
Their Cats & daughter Alison. She also has her own place on the estate

play is not just play meryl streep“Pretending is not just play.
Pretending is imagined possibility”
— Meryl Streep

Private Writings:Chapter #82 “Turn of the Lock”

private writings a novel of true fantasy by jennifer kiley [shawn's 2d blue name]

“Turn of the Lock”
Private Writings #82
Written by Jennifer Kiley
Post Tuesday 7th October 2014

WARNING: ADULT LANGUAGE AND CONTENT
Not Suitable For Children.
ALL CHARACTERS ARE FICTITIOUS.
Anyone Resembling Anyone Living or Dead
Is Purely Coincidental.

1 alice-down-the-rabbithole [use best one]

Crypticistic Synopsis:

private writings to dr. annie haskell psychoanalyst

I am the storyteller using imagination fantasy feelings & thoughts

to discover self soul eternal serenity & bliss

but to most importantly tell the best tale ever after upon a time.

see you down the rabbit hole.

Private Writings: Chapter #82 — “Chapter #82 Turn of the Lock”

Tuesday 1st April 2009
Dear Maria,

I decided since I am seeing you now I will write my letters to you. They won’t be sent but I will keep up writing them until I don’t.

Sylvia is here at Redcliff. Not her usual self. She is transparent and pissed off. She hates the idea of being dead. No sex. No sexual urges. Just bliss or rest. She told me right away she didn’t try to kill herself. The car went out of control. Like there was nothing to be control. It flipped out like it was insane. It certainly didn’t behave like a Porsche she ever drove. “Sorry about Alison. Sorry about everything.” She told me this. She, also has met Angela and a grand collection of others hanging around for some sort of party. Exit party maybe.

They were ticked a bit with me for trying to off myself again. Can’t help myself. Bipolar depression is deadly. You lose control of your senses and sensibilities. You just & only focus on wanting to die. I’ve felt this way so many times.

Back to the Porsche. If Sylvia didn’t do it & Alison wasn’t in control, who did this? Angela has some theories. Primary Ghost #2. I think Sylvia outranks her. She’s a star. Everyone is up in their heads over these assassinations. That’s what they call them. They tell me these unanswered deaths blamed on alcohol, drugs, car crashes are all too familiar and convenient to say they are they cause. When some know it isn’t that way at all.

I have no idea what they are talking about. Just play along. It does make me wonder, though. Deaths that are so sudden and no really good explanation. Drowning of Natalie. Curious. I always felt that was too weird. Too many deaths are weird if you think about it.

We are going to reenact THE FEAST Angela’s group celebrates yearly. It is nasty. I will get into that in my next letter. For now I need to recover from my near death and talk some more to the ladies and a young man who is actually Sylvia’s father. He died from AIDS. Doesn’t understand what caused his contracting the disease. He never did any of the long list of ways to be exposed and have it be a threat of developing the virus.

Another unexplained death. It crushed Sylvia her father died when she was so young. Now they are hanging out here. He was on other side waiting for her. She needs to stay here for awhile until she discovers who killed her. Her father Sidney Vincent, Catherine Leighton’s dead husband, wants answer for many questions he knows many who died want the answers to.

Well, that’s it for now. Exhaustion has hit me & I need to chat with my new ghostly friends.

Night,

Madison

© Madison Taylor 2008

“I think writing really helps you heal yourself. I think if you write long enough, you will be a healthy person. That is, if you write what you need to write, as opposed to what will make money, or what will make fame.“ — Alice Walker


Maksim – Somewhere In Time – Composer John Barry[Dedicated to Annie]

5 photo of white rose with red framed in blue

“A Dream
The beginning always starts out
With a dream.
It is all a dream
In our own nightmares”
— Madison Taylor

Le Chateau de Rocher - Home to Madison & Scottie Their Cats & daughter Alison. She has her own place on the estate

Le Chateau de Rocher – Home to Madison & Scottie
Their Cats & daughter Alison. She also has her own place on the estate

play is not just play meryl streep“Pretending is not just play.
Pretending is imagined possibility”
— Meryl Streep

 

Private Writings: Chapter #81 “Fighting the End”

private writings a novel of true fantasy by jennifer kiley [shawn's 2d blue name]

“Fighting the End”
Private Writings #81
Written by Jennifer Kiley
Post Tuesday 30th September 2014

WARNING: ADULT LANGUAGE AND CONTENT
Not Suitable For Children.
ALL CHARACTERS ARE FICTITIOUS.
Anyone Resembling Anyone Living or Dead
Is Purely Coincidental.

1 alice-down-the-rabbithole [use best one]

Crypticistic Synopsis:

private writings to dr. annie haskell psychoanalyst

I am the storyteller using imagination fantasy feelings & thoughts

to discover self soul eternal serenity & bliss

but to most importantly tell the best tale ever after upon a time.

see you down the rabbit hole.

Private Writings: Chapter #81 — “Fighting the End”

Tuesday 24th March 2009

Dear Maria,

It is our first session, Maria Lopez Falcón, it rolls off the tongue. So, you are my new therapist. I’m not in the best states. My mind is frazzled from having my soul sucked out through my eyes by way of my heart & stomach. Annie is gone. I can’t bear to think she has gone off to be in the line of crazy people with bombs & ammunition for their multiple kill apparatus. She doesn’t know where Noah is, her husband the CIA. I think that is supposed to be hush-hush. No one releases that information unless his cover has been compromised. I heard today they’ve killed over 50 journalists. Probably thought they were spies.

So I’m here reporting for duty & really depressed. The dark side of my bipolar is taking over. Losing Annie is destroying me. Losing someone I feel close to.

After i got out of session today, i realized you were trying to make me feel safe so i would feel less restricted from opening up. We have a lot of common interests. Films, TV, books, fun fiction, especially vampires for you For me fantasy with romance & supernatural ghosts i most enjoy. Not one out to do bad. The freely confused kind. Do i seem strange to you? It’s ok. Doesn’t make me feel inferior. Its cool to like who we do. It’s original.

Now that i am home and alone, the feelings have deteriorated into suicidal feelings. Tonight is the night i finally just do it, I’ve got the pills, the warm bath, champagne & a rather sharp knife. I didn’t forget the pot either. No to get naked and just do it.

I wrote the final letters. One for Jamie, Scottie, Alison, Annie, Catherine & one for myself. To go to Maria Lopez Falcón. I love to say the name.It’s time to know when to make an exit. It freaks people out. Why? I’m the one who is dying. It’s time to see the other side.’if it is at all possible to send a message i will. But will i make you understand.

I’d like to stick around to know you. Maybe another time around. Next life.

The pills are swallowed. The bath is drawn. Music chosen & playing. Check letters are written. Smoke some weed. Time to climb into the bath & slit my wrists. I would just slip away with no pain. I will leave behind all the loses.

Good night. It was quite the ride.

Fondly, M…

The End

© Madison Taylor 2008

“I think writing really helps you heal yourself. I think if you write long enough, you will be a healthy person. That is, if you write what you need to write, as opposed to what will make money, or what will make fame.“ — Alice Walker


Maksim – Somewhere In Time – Composer John Barry

5 photo of white rose with red framed in blue

“A Dream
The beginning always starts out
With a dream.
It is all a dream
In our own nightmares”
— Madison Taylor

Le Chateau de Rocher - Home to Madison & Scottie Their Cats & daughter Alison. She has her own place on the estate

Le Chateau de Rocher – Home to Madison & Scottie
Their Cats & daughter Alison. She also has her own place on the estate

play is not just play meryl streep“Pretending is not just play.
Pretending is imagined possibility”
— Meryl Streep

Private Writings: Chapter #80 “Lost In Time”

private writings a novel of true fantasy by jennifer kiley [shawn's 2d blue name]

“Lost In Time”
Private Writings #80
Written by Jennifer Kiley
Post Tuesday 23rd September 2014

WARNING: ADULT LANGUAGE AND CONTENT
Not Suitable For Children.
ALL CHARACTERS ARE FICTITIOUS.
Anyone Resembling Anyone Living or Dead
Is Purely Coincidental.

1 alice-down-the-rabbithole [use best one]

Crypticistic Synopsis:

private writings to dr. annie haskell psychoanalyst

I am the storyteller using imagination fantasy feelings & thoughts

to discover self soul eternal serenity & bliss

but to most importantly tell the best tale ever after upon a time.

see you down the rabbit hole.

Private Writings: Chapter #80 — “Lost In Time”

Tuesday 17th March 2009

Dear Annie,

How could you do this now? I find you to be so warm and what you’ve done & doing is so cold. You hold & control the love and I am left freaking out, with a heart that finds it hard to beat. What promises you made about never leaving me. I asked you two weeks ago, rather persistently if you were going away. I had the strongest psychic thoughts invading my mind. And you swore I was imagining what I felt. Turning on me by saying I was being delusional. You would rather play on my meltdown to make me think i was being crazy.

No matter what you do to me I will always, love you still & for always. I would go anywhere to be with you. You’re my favorite addiction. Just being in your presence.

You told me I couldn’t follow. It was too far. I guess when someone, somewhere is hiding in Europe makes it difficult. So you are joining your husband the spy. If he’d disappeared I’d be more sympathetic. But his whereabouts are just top secret. Our relationship is top secret. At least, for you, it is. I know you have deep feelings for me. I feel it in your presence. I can’t walk away from how good you make me feel. I don’t know how you could desert me, knowing how you truly feel. Don’t try hiding your intense love. I feel it.

You are blind to even see how I feel for you. I am crazy for you. And I think you lie when you won’t admit you feel as passionate. this is all a sick joke of a nightmare. Adding insult to it all, there is no contact, both sides. We both suffer . You are going to be tortured more.

I have the control when this abstinence is finished. Do you feel or imagine I’ll run into your arms. I think my heart is what you want. You’ve never met a woman like me. I am like you & we are rare.

Last time. Last chance. Goddess, I love you, but you are being a bitch. I’m trying to drive you away. I can’t bear what I am feeling. I just want to die. Go away now. I can’t ever look into your eyes again.

If you ever return, I don’t know what I would do. I know I’m not doing so well now.

I hope you & your daughter stay safe over there. I won’t stop loving you, you know that. You’re under my untouchable skin & my heart is really breaking. I just want to kill myself. You will be gone forever.

My only hope is the 2 years are short. And I’ll take you at your word, anything is possible. If you’re here, I will be.

I will keep writing. Share my feelings and thoughts. Tell you what goes down.

I can’t do this anymore. You won’t ever see these letters. Not ever again. I can speak openly. It feels like you died so suddenly. I will hold onto your spirit.

If I must say goodbye and though I don’t want to, I will just have to do it.

Goodbye. Saying this brings tears to my eyes. The shadow’s beatings don’t frighten me away from my feelings for you. I will cry for you my love.

Love,

Madison

Ps. No more letters for you to read but I will write anyway. To you or to someone imaginary.

@>-;–

© Madison Taylor 2008

“I think writing really helps you heal yourself. I think if you write long enough, you will be a healthy person. That is, if you write what you need to write, as opposed to what will make money, or what will make fame.“ — Alice Walker


Maksim – Somewhere In Time – Composer John Barry[Dedicated to Annie]

5 photo of white rose with red framed in blue

“A Dream
The beginning always starts out
With a dream.
It is all a dream
In our own nightmares”
— Madison Taylor

Le Chateau de Rocher - Home to Madison & Scottie Their Cats & daughter Alison. She has her own place on the estate

Le Chateau de Rocher – Home to Madison & Scottie
Their Cats & daughter Alison. She also has her own place on the estate

play is not just play meryl streep“Pretending is not just play.
Pretending is imagined possibility”
— Meryl Streep

Medicalmarijuana red cross marijuana leaf black bgMedical MMJ

 black_shamrock_ribbon green reverse