3 thoughts on “The Last Act | a black-out poem

  1. splendid capturing concisely the unfolding of a particular scene…being manic, know it too well…for me it appears unclear whether the one saying good-bye is the manic, or the one being said good-bye to, who is the smiling to the other, and that rings true, since i’ve seen it both ways

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    • (My immediate interpretation in response to your comment.) So in the moment . the poem is being told from the perspective of the one who has to experience the mania from outside the experience. A mild form of letting go is in the smile as the parting becomes forever.

      Bipolar is so demanding . the manic one doesn’t always know what one expects . being Bipolar . I have some understanding of how what I do reflects outward. My partner & I keep it honest & I don’t get away with my BS. I am not so sure how Bipolar depression plays a role . it feels too deep & personally unexplainable except in art . whether words or painting or music . whatever works.

      The clarity of the poem is the perception can go either way . it can be the manic one or the one who has survived the mania from the outside . it is meant to be the readers evaluation . no restrictions.

      I do want to add I believe Mania if used productively . the Muse gives me many ideas to create . I wouldn’t give up a manic state even knowing it can turn into a deep depression eventually. It all should be used as creatively as possible. As Kermit the Frog sings . “It isn’t easy to be _____ (fill in the blank) me”.

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      • I hear ya. Being bipolar (along with the anxiety disorder) i have seen that smile (and other facial expressions), but in certain depths I have also given that you’re-doing-the-right-thing-by-leaving smile.

        The balance between channeling the mania and depression (and anxiety) into one’s art and becoming so disable by it one can’t do the art is a fine balance. For me at least there is also the self-medication with alcohol that undermines my ability (and willingness) to do my art. When things go really bad I have to deal with dyphoric mania, which means i’m manic and depressed at the same time.

        The impact on relationships is of course a whole other matter. In my recent effort, I came up against the “love will conquer all” attitude, that is the other’s love for me and my love for the other person should snap me out of depression or mania or panic attack. All the while saying “I understand what you’re going through” which of course sets me off.

        “It ain’t easy being me” about sums it up, all the while “can’t feel sorry for myself” and “i take responsibility for the wreckage” (when the wreckage is my fault, that is.

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