Never Against One’s Will

Based on a true story. . .this happened 2 days before my birthday.

A new psychotherapist was in and out of my life in two sessions. In our second session, she tried to force me against my will to do something I absolutely refused to do. It was a bloody set up. A spider’s web. A betrayal. [I figured out the deceit later, after I got home and talked it out with my partner]. I ended the session abruptly. I’d had enough.It became repetitious. She accused me of putting her in a corner by asking her if I did not comply, did it mean she would not be my therapist. She told me her request was a ‘suggestion.’ I told her that meant I could refuse. She didn’t get it. I told her I would never allow anyone to force me against my will ever again. I left as fast as I was able to walk with two canes helping me. I thought I had fractured my knee a week ago. So I was still in the stages of pain. I couldn’t get down the hall fast enough without her calling after me, continuing to pursue my relinquishment of my will and my adamant decision of NO.

She turned out to be a great disappointment but it did have a Powerful ending for me. It was a Change for me to not back down. I said NO in as many ways possible before I really just had to get the Hell away from her, out of her office. I held my ground. What she asked of me is irrelevant. Trust me, though, it was abhorrent.

I describe my actions as follows: Will‌ – the capability of conscious choice and decision and intention; “the exercise of their volition we construe as revolt”- George Meredith

Damn right I was in a revolt. Did she think she was stronger than me? She wasn’t. She tried to steal my convictions from me with pathetic manipulation. She failed miserably. And no I never intend to go back or speak to her ever again. She harmed me in the first session. In the second session, I shut her down. It is done.

I am angry but stronger for it. – Maggie the Cat

fist held up in air

The raised fist
(also known as the clenched fist)
is a symbol of solidarity and support.
It is also used as a salute to express
unity, strength, defiance, or resistance.
The salute dates back to ancient Assyria
as a symbol of resistance in the face of
violence. [Violence can take many forms].
– Wikipedia

16 thoughts on “Never Against One’s Will

    • I think as we make resolutions for the New Year, it may make even more sense to make them starting on the day of one’s birth. A transformation. A complete makeover inside my head. I will find a way to be like any writer, poet or artist, and struggle through to see the other side of the veil. The word is CHANGE. It is what LIFE is: GROWTH in whatever direction the IVY takes you. Climb high up into the sky or crawl or fall down a rabbit hole now and then.

      Thank you. You led me into a deeper level of understanding the words I wrote and helped me make the connection clearer.

      Liked by 1 person

        • There exists for me a different sense of time on one’s birthday. A feeling that rises above any other time of the year. One’s birthday holds some special power if we allow ourselves to experience it. So it makes absolute sense it’s the most ideal time to align one’s future.

          I wonder if everyone allows the power in on their birthday. It’s difficult not to feel it in some way.


          • I’ve known so many people who stress over aging. It’s not as if the end is looming, and I refuse to believe that, yet, in my sixties, I’m more conscious of the fact that more time lies behind than ahead. However, that doesn’t mean there is less ahead for me. That may mean change, and, in fact, four years ago I made a very major change in my life that brought me here. In retrospect, I see that decision was made during the week of my birthday, something I hadn’t considered, before.

            Liked by 1 person

            • I work on staying as healthy as I am able. Being born is a journey until it stops. No one can change the conclusion. It is better to accept all of life and incorporate it into how we live. Do not wait for something to happen. You make it happen, if that’s what you want.

              As far as aging, I trying to get younger by opening up to my inner child. Let one’s self be free the way we felt inside as a child in our daydreams. I was and still am a daydreamer. It gives me the most delightful and insightful thoughts. I feel so refreshed afterwards. I usually begin my day with my eyes closed, allowing my mind to wander until it feels right to stop and start the day.

              It’s a great realization you remember four years ago a monumental change occurred during the week of your birthday. I do believe the same is happening to me in the surrounding times of now. A total realignment. I wonder where it shall take me. Have some ideas. Hope they are part of what is to come. Thank you again for your sharing and insight. 💫 ⌚ 🎩

              Liked by 1 person

    • I experienced being the invisible victim to those who were corrupt and suffered in silence. For psychotherapist to behave in the way she did sent energy and the strength to reject what she felt was her power. I didn’t give an inch. My power is difficult to be certain of but I let it free when I feel I am not being harmful. Power is essential but with bipolar it sometimes gets confusing. But never will I be a victim again no matter how hard it is to fight that battle. I speak my mind now and do say the magic word NO. Now it is a matter to get those who can be a threat to listen.

      Liked by 1 person

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