‘A’ to ‘Z’ Writing Challenge #3
“After the end…”
by Jennifer Kiley
After the end of dinner, I wondered what would happen next. Before deciding what that would be, I waited silently. Calling my therapist entered my mind. Determining what I would say wasn’t yet clear. Everything felt okay moments before I abruptly ended things. Feeling overwhelmed by the presence of the mystery guest was not a surprise to me. Going outside for a walk was like a ‘Call of the Wild,’ beckoning me, and our dog Jasper could desperately use a walk, even if it was pouring torrential rains. Hopefully being outside, the water washing over me, might bring clarity to my mind and I would be away from her.
Irrational, a cruel word, was what Jamie called my overreaction to her. Jamie, I felt was being unreasonable. Keeping an eye on me didn’t help the way I felt. Lately, I have been having a difficult time feeling in control, and seeing her, the one who disturbed me most and wanted to destroy me, pushed me over the limits. My reaction to her felt so extreme to Jamie and everyone else, but I felt she earned my contempt and hatred. Nowhere to go, nowhere to escape the feelings of rage. Opening up to my therapist seemed the only thing that would be of help. Phoning her was what I was going to do, if only to save my sanity.
‘Quiet,’ I whispered inside my mind. Reality, unlike the Force, was not with me. Saying I see the alien lights outside at night does not make Jamie laugh anymore. Thinking I am crazy is what she is more interested in focusing on. Understanding doesn’t seem to be something anyone is willing to be open to. Various suggestions have been made on what to do with me, one being to get me under their control.
While waiting for my therapist to return my call, I watched Jamie pacing, and putting more wear into our rather expensive Persian carpet, I so love. Xavier, Jamie’s brother, the psychiatrist, wanted to give me an injection of a strange sedative, I heard him call it Ketamine. Yelling out, “Someone hold her down;” I moved quickly. Zig-Zagging in panic, racing away from the sharp needle pursuing me, I ran into the pouring rain, voices echoing in the distance, and a familiar bark; but I ran away from it, further and further into the dark, the dark of the night.