Private Writings: Chapter #81 “Fighting the End”

private writings a novel of true fantasy by jennifer kiley [shawn's 2d blue name]

“Fighting the End”
Private Writings #81
Written by Jennifer Kiley
Post Tuesday 30th September 2014

Not Suitable For Children.
Anyone Resembling Anyone Living or Dead
Is Purely Coincidental.

1 alice-down-the-rabbithole [use best one]

Crypticistic Synopsis:

private writings to dr. annie haskell psychoanalyst

I am the storyteller using imagination fantasy feelings & thoughts

to discover self soul eternal serenity & bliss

but to most importantly tell the best tale ever after upon a time.

see you down the rabbit hole.

Private Writings: Chapter #81 — “Fighting the End”

Tuesday 24th March 2009

Dear Maria,

It is our first session, Maria Lopez Falcón, it rolls off the tongue. So, you are my new therapist. I’m not in the best states. My mind is frazzled from having my soul sucked out through my eyes by way of my heart & stomach. Annie is gone. I can’t bear to think she has gone off to be in the line of crazy people with bombs & ammunition for their multiple kill apparatus. She doesn’t know where Noah is, her husband the CIA. I think that is supposed to be hush-hush. No one releases that information unless his cover has been compromised. I heard today they’ve killed over 50 journalists. Probably thought they were spies.

So I’m here reporting for duty & really depressed. The dark side of my bipolar is taking over. Losing Annie is destroying me. Losing someone I feel close to.

After i got out of session today, i realized you were trying to make me feel safe so i would feel less restricted from opening up. We have a lot of common interests. Films, TV, books, fun fiction, especially vampires for you For me fantasy with romance & supernatural ghosts i most enjoy. Not one out to do bad. The freely confused kind. Do i seem strange to you? It’s ok. Doesn’t make me feel inferior. Its cool to like who we do. It’s original.

Now that i am home and alone, the feelings have deteriorated into suicidal feelings. Tonight is the night i finally just do it, I’ve got the pills, the warm bath, champagne & a rather sharp knife. I didn’t forget the pot either. No to get naked and just do it.

I wrote the final letters. One for Jamie, Scottie, Alison, Annie, Catherine & one for myself. To go to Maria Lopez Falcón. I love to say the name.It’s time to know when to make an exit. It freaks people out. Why? I’m the one who is dying. It’s time to see the other side.’if it is at all possible to send a message i will. But will i make you understand.

I’d like to stick around to know you. Maybe another time around. Next life.

The pills are swallowed. The bath is drawn. Music chosen & playing. Check letters are written. Smoke some weed. Time to climb into the bath & slit my wrists. I would just slip away with no pain. I will leave behind all the loses.

Good night. It was quite the ride.

Fondly, M…

The End

© Madison Taylor 2008

“I think writing really helps you heal yourself. I think if you write long enough, you will be a healthy person. That is, if you write what you need to write, as opposed to what will make money, or what will make fame.“ — Alice Walker

Maksim – Somewhere In Time – Composer John Barry

5 photo of white rose with red framed in blue

“A Dream
The beginning always starts out
With a dream.
It is all a dream
In our own nightmares”
— Madison Taylor

Le Chateau de Rocher - Home to Madison & Scottie Their Cats & daughter Alison. She has her own place on the estate

Le Chateau de Rocher – Home to Madison & Scottie
Their Cats & daughter Alison. She also has her own place on the estate

play is not just play meryl streep“Pretending is not just play.
Pretending is imagined possibility”
— Meryl Streep