A Writer’s Diary: Virginia Woolf —Part #15

a writer's diary
Virginia Woolf – Part #15
Excerpts from Virginia Woolf
Created by Jennifer Kiley
Created 24th March 2014
Posted Sunday 8th June 2014
A WRITER’S DIARY

Virginia Woolf 1

Virginia Woolf

A Writer’s Diary
Virginia Woolf – Part #15

December 29th, 1940
Virginia Woolf at 58 yrs.

There are
moments
when
the sail
flaps.

Then,
being
a great
amateur
of the art
of life,

determined
to suck
my orange,
off,
like a wasp
if the blossom
I’m on
fades,
as it did
yesterday

I ride
across
the downs
to the cliffs.

A roll
of barbed
wire
is hooped
on the edge.

I rubbed
my mind
brisk
along
the
Newhaven
road.

Shabby
old maids
buying
groceries,

in that
desert road
with
the villas;
in the wet.

And
Newhaven
gashed.

But tire
the body
and
the mind
sleeps.

All desire
to write
diary
here
has
flagged.

What is
the right
antidote?

I must
sniff round.
I think
Mme.
de Sevigne.

Writing
to be
a daily
pleasure.

I detest
the hardness
of old age

I feel it.

I rasp.

I’m tart.

*       *       *       *       *       *       *

3 Months later on 28th March 1941 Virginia Woolf filled her coat pockets with
Stones, walked into the River Ouse near her home in Sussex and drowned herself.
Headlines stated she had disappeared but it was suspected she was dead. Three
weeks after she committed suicide by drowning, she was found. Leonard Woolf
had her cremated. Virginia Woolf’s ashes were buried under the intertwined Elm
Trees, nicknamed “Virginia and Leonard” by them, at Monk’s House, their Summer
Home. Both their homes in London had been destroyed by bombs during World
War II.  Leonard Woolf, Virginia’s husband, was devastated. She left a note for
him and one for her sister Vanessa Bell. There was a huge outpouring from
friends, family, acquaintances, strangers, fans and admirers who were send-
ing their condolences. It was a shock to all, the loss of Virginia Woolf.

At the bottom of post I will leave a copy of the suicide note
Virginia Woolf wrote for her husband Leonard Woolf.

These are the last passages from Virginia Woolf’s A Writer’s Diary, BUT ONLY TEMPORARILY.

I will be presenting further excerpts
from Virginia Woolf’s A Writer’s Diary in the near future.

Thank You For Following Her Brilliant Words as her Gift to All of Us.

THANK YOU VIRGINIA WOOLF FOR BEING SO GENEROUS.
WE HAVE YOUR GIFTS TO LEARN FROM & WE ARE ABLE
TO ABSORB FROM THE DEPTH OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE, YOUR
BRILLIANCE & YOUR SENSITIVITY. I KNOW I AM GRATEFUL
TO HAVE FOUND YOU. YOU ARE IMPORTANT TO ME. I FEEL
THE PAIN YOU SUFFERED & HOPE YOU HAVE FOUND PEACE.

Virginia Woolf's Monk's House Garden

Virginia Woolf’s Monk’s House Garden

virginia woolf 3

Virginia Woolf


Erik Satie: Gnossienne No. 1, 2, 3

 *       *       *       *       *       *       *

Virginia Woolf’s Handwritten Suicide Note to Her Husband Leonard
A Painful & Poignant Farewell [28th March 1941]

Dearest, I feel certain that I am going mad again. I feel we can’t go through another of those terrible times. And I shan’t recover this time. I begin to hear voices, and I can’t concentrate. So I am doing what seems the best thing to do. You have given me the greatest possible happiness. You have been in every way all that anyone could be. I don’t think two people could have been happier ’til this terrible disease came. I can’t fight any longer. I know that I am spoiling your life, that without me you could work. And you will I know. You see I can’t even write this properly. I can’t read. What I want to say is I owe all the happiness of my life to you. You have been entirely patient with me and incredibly good. I want to say that—everybody knows it. If anybody could have saved me it would have been you. Everything has gone from me but the certainty of your goodness. I can’t go on spoiling your life any longer. I don’t think two people could have been happier than we have been. V.

*       *       *       *       *       *       *

2 thoughts on “A Writer’s Diary: Virginia Woolf —Part #15

  1. What I would have given to have been on that beach and stopped her and told her that everything would be fine. Not perfect. Not normal. Not alright, but fine. More loved her than she ever knew. There was more peace waiting for her than she ever imagined.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Juliette for your reassuring words for Virginia. I, also, feel the pain of wanting to have been able to nurture and reassure her and stop her. I wanted to be beside her at the water to convince her to rethink her plan. I wish more people were reassuring her she was not alone with her demons. Others may have wanted to support her. But it is at these times when a soul cannot reach out and feels all alone, The feelings are that no one can possibly want to deal with her any longer.

      The wonderful responses from so many after her death. I feel so close to her when I read her words from “The Writer’s Diary.” I tried to make her posts feel intimate. For me, I feel as though I am with her back then reading as she is committing words to the page.

      I think you and I feel the same way. Maybe we both have a strong connection to Virginia Woolf. I know I feel very connected to her spirit. Is it because she lives in her words? Her spirit is alive within what she wrote and when she is read you feel her presence. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if that isn’t true. ❤ Jennifer

      Like

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