Soul In Darkness Or In Light

Soul In Darkness Or In Light
X-TREME HAIKU: “DEPRESSION”
WRITTEN BY JENNIFER KILEY
ILLUSTRATED by j. kiley
POST CREATED MAY 26TH 2013
POSTED MAY 26TH 2013silver divider between paragraphs

touching air to water dark yet light   642x501

touching air to water dark yet light

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soul in darkness or in light by j. kiley © jennifer kiley 2013   805x3969

soul in darkness or in light by j. kiley © jennifer kiley 2013

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twisted japanese maple  675x1014

twisted japanese maple

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Evanescence — My Heart Is Brokensilver divider between paragraphsQUOTATIONS on DEPRESSION:

“Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad.” ― Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

“There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds.” ― Laurell K. Hamilton, Mistral’s Kiss

“I didn’t want to wake up. I was having a much better time asleep. And that’s really sad. It was almost like a reverse nightmare, like when you wake up from a nightmare you’re so relieved. I woke up into a nightmare.” ― Ned Vizzini, It’s Kind of a Funny Story

“The best thing for being sad,” replied Merlin, beginning to puff and blow, “is to learn something. That’s the only thing that never fails. You may grow old and trembling in your anatomies, you may lie awake at night listening to the disorder of your veins, you may miss your only love, you may see the world about you devastated by evil lunatics, or know your honour trampled in the sewers of baser minds. There is only one thing for it then — to learn. Learn why the world wags and what wags it. That is the only thing which the mind can never exhaust, never alienate, never be tortured by, never fear or distrust, and never dream of regretting. Learning is the only thing for you. Look what a lot of things there are to learn.” ― T.H. White, The Once and Future King

“When you’re lost in those woods, it sometimes takes you a while to realize that you are lost. For the longest time, you can convince yourself that you’ve just wandered off the path, that you’ll find your way back to the trailhead any moment now. Then night falls again and again, and you still have no idea where you are, and it’s time to admit that you have bewildered yourself so far off the path that you don’t even know from which direction the sun rises anymore.” ― Elizabeth Gilbert

“When you’re surrounded by all these people, it can be lonelier than when you’re by yourself. You can be in a huge crowd, but if you don’t feel like you can trust anyone or talk to anybody, you feel like you’re really alone.” ― Fiona Apple

“Do you not see how necessary a world of pains and troubles is to school an intelligence and make it a soul?” ― John Keats, Letters of John Keats

“Listen to the people who love you. Believe that they are worth living for even when you don’t believe it. Seek out the memories depression takes away and project them into the future. Be brave; be strong; take your pills. Exercise because it’s good for you even if every step weighs a thousand pounds. Eat when food itself disgusts you. Reason with yourself when you have lost your reason.” ― Andrew Solomon, The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression

“Why do you want to shut out of your life any uneasiness, any misery, any depression, since after all you don’t know what work these conditions are doing inside you? Why do you want to persecute yourself with the question of where all this is coming from and where it is going? Since you know, after all, that you are in the midst of transitions and you wished for nothing so much as to change. If there is anything unhealthy in your reactions, just bear in mind that sickness is the means by which an organism frees itself from what is alien; so one must simply help it to be sick, to have its whole sickness and to break out with it, since that is the way it gets better.”
― Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet
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4 thoughts on “Soul In Darkness Or In Light

  1. “Listen to the people who love you. Believe that they are worth living for even when you don’t believe it. Seek out the memories depression takes away and project them into the future. Be brave; be strong; take your pills. Exercise because it’s good for you even if every step weighs a thousand pounds. Eat when food itself disgusts you. Reason with yourself when you have lost your reason.” ― Andrew Solomon, The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression

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  2. I know this one all too well. I get so sick of people trying to tell you to re-frame your feelings…as if you can! Your feelings swallow you whole, drown you in a boiling sea, burn your solar plexus, make lead of your heart. The slightest pin-prick sends searing hot tears pouring down your face. The acid in them burns your eyes. You want to run away and hide in a dark hole, burrow underground, or better still, disappear altogether, cease to exist so desperately, as the cacophony of reasons that you are a failure, useless – bombard your sensibilities. Medication does not help in the slightest, so you ditch it and travel through each day as a sleep-walker, raw, exposed.. And the truth is, your life is a mess, not how you expected it to be, Your heart is broken. Can a doctor heal that?

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    • rain in garden gifNo healing but time. Even that is a projected hallucination. Feeling a hold on what is real. Moments creep in and change things up. Waiting for time to pass so the pain will stop. Losing control. Not able to control the intensity hurting the flesh and corrupting the instrument of the mind that controls the dam from overflowing. Tear everything apart to stop the insanity of waiting from circling the brain. The madness takes over and rips it all apart so it becomes bearable. Eventually, the torture subsides and is replaced with a more acceptable level. The waiting feels less maddening and the feelings brought down to a more manageable level. But the waiting still exists. The pain remains. The intensity is spread out to a bearable diversion of acceptance. There still exists time between the madness and the satisfaction that the pain will be subdued to a reasonable state bearable to only the divinely mad. Losing control sometimes is the only acceptable answer to certain situations. Healing needs to be done but only in a way that allows for all possibilities of acceptance. Sorrow. Broken hearts. Rawness. Burning tears. Dark holes for escape. Understanding. Listener to listen. Take the edge off without useless drugs. Soothing sounds of trust and comforting support. Taking the burden away. Relief. Release. Clearness of mind to hold onto. Offering. Will lift up spirit. Always in the wings. Great lift off. Flying. Soaring above the clouds. Above the storm. Love offered freely. Never going away. Vent the rage. Explode. Cry tears of pain. No burning. Tears of water to feed the thirst of the soul. Water the trees. The flowers. The love awaits. Given freely. Arms waiting to hold. Embrace a heart so raw. Love with softness and warmth. Remember time does not count. It is all relative. Come when ready. Arrival time open. Love Always. Jk

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