i like the way it hurts

i like the way it hurts
poem by jennifer kiley
©transgraphics by j. kiley
posted 01.10.13
challenge: line from song: #2
guess song title and singer(s)

casser sur passé à l’autre côté par j. kiley © jennifer kiley 2013

i like the way it hurts
by jennifer kiley

i like the way it hurts
the depth of depression
the numbness of the blood
leave open the pain
blood letting
does still release demons
or awaken them to the feast
they plant the thoughts
the actions are a natural
progression of self-worth
and self-hatred
its companion
the longer i let it touch me
the deeper are the wounds

it hurts with pleasure
usually it’s all that’s possible
what i feel is the pain
releases the blood
drains the pain away
the numbness sets in
the anger the rage the pain
decreases and releases
the consciousness is leaving
all washes away
all feelings that hold me down
i’m floating on air
the heaviness evaporates
what holds the reasons
to stay are reasoned away

leaving behind what i hurt
their lives will continue
better without me near or here
missing will fade away in time
my spirit will serve
those i love
who love me
better as a memory
apologizing for any pain
i will guide
as i am allowed
but as a spirit
it is all
i am qualified to be
maybe a muse
i will work up to be
or a guardian angel
will be better than me
who am i now
lost in the daze
of a bipolar mystery
and bruised memories
that have beaten me down
where there is just no energy
left inside of me to survive

© jennifer kiley 2013


love the way you lie-rihanna & eminem

line from song: “i like the way it hurts”
song: “love the way you lie” singer: rihanna rap: eminem

18 thoughts on “i like the way it hurts

    • “Suicide is a form of murder – premeditated murder. It isn’t something you do the first time you think of doing it. It takes getting used to. And you need the means, the opportunity, the motive. A successful suicide demands good organization and a cool head, both of which are usually incompatible with the suicidal state of mind.” ~ Susanna Kaysen, Girl, Interrupted ~

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    • I heard you. Compassion. I am trying to remember. The full spectrum is quite active right now. Sleep is where my body and all within it are suppose to be. Have to have a visit to hospital in 6 hrs. Wrote this last night but have no memory of doing it. It is part of exocising the demons. Better to be on paper and witnessed then inside of me being destructive. Now I can start feeling the compassion. jk

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  1. Wow Jen! Beautiful writing.
    You know what has always kept me going even at my lowest? Curiosity
    Life is so bizarre and so unexpected, I keep wondering what’s going to happen next.
    Bless up 🙂
    G

    Like

  2. Pingback: Can we start over? « ofsol

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