Guiding Me Through Life #30

Guiding Me Through Life
By Jennifer Kiley
Trans-Graphics by j.kiley
11.29.12 #30
November Month of the Verses 30 days 30 verses #30-the last verse
December Month of the Haiku 31 days 31 haiku #1 starts 12.01.12
first was titled: “sunrise” haiku-tibetan flute music (posted early)
new first one will be created on eve of dec. 1st-2012

le chemin de la vie est doré et rempli avec l’imagination by j. kiley

11.29.12 #30
guiding me through life
by jennifer kiley

guiding me through life
my conscience comes first
to my mind
living a life
with good principles
raised in a congregational church
belonging to the youth
and senior choir
being part of the youth fellowship
going to church school
twice a week
one being on Sunday
after the children’s church service
the other is
walking over from grammar school
during the week

what did i learn
the man who killed Jesus
flew airplanes
or so i thought
i daydreamed a lot
his name was Pilate
which sounded like pilot
never noticed the spelling
so i thought
a pilot killed Jesus
why he would want to do such a thing
was absurd
i thought
not necessarily
in those exact words

i imagined things
heard half of what the boring people
were babbling

i use to see a light surrounding the minister
during the sermon
when i looked away
he was every place
my eyes would wander
the sermons were so long
i don’t think one
made any sense

i was there for the choir
it was the music i loved
the candles too

once during communion
i actually went into a meditative trance
I was jolted back from a state of bliss
when someone touched me
to take the small silver cup
which once held the fake blood of Christ
which wasn’t even wine
but instead was grape juice
plus the bread
which was supposed to be
the symbolic body of Christ
it was my only sustenance
until lunch/ breakfast after church

this was the start
but brought eventually
a disillusionment
that broke my belief
in the church forever
the person i most respected
turned out to be a bigot

i wandered through life
discovered my own belief system
a living breathing changing entity
that lives within me
around me
and through me

i am an honest person
a real and true person
kind and who i am
trusting when possible
truthful a necessity

i am learning
to understand
who i am
i have rage
that i am trying
to get beyond
it is covering up
a volcano i cover
holding back emotions
that would overwhelm me
into a state of pure divine madness
if it were released
too soon
or all at once

many horrific things
happened to me
in my life
a great deal
when i was a child
the rest
throughout
my life
i’ve lost
many people to death
most too young
suddenly unexpected

at present
my therapist
expressed to me
recently
i am
an emotional
mess

i’m holding on
by a thin thread
of hope and reality
creativity
and a great deal
of imagination…

© Jennifer Kiley 2012

[youtube=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RZ-uV72pQKI&w=670&h=407]
pure imagination-gene wilder

“willy wonka and the chocolate factory

3 thoughts on “Guiding Me Through Life #30

  1. I love your honesty, Jennifer.
    Your thought train brought me to
    “The Song Remains The Same”
    for no matter what you become
    who you are this morning
    will be who you are tonight.

    What could be better?
    As long as you’re still here
    I’ll continue to pray thee well.

    Peace and luvz, Keith

    Like

    • Keith you are so generous
      I miss our repartee in poetry
      It enlivened my night
      with whimsical flight
      an exercise of the mind
      playing games in time
      with each new rhyme
      my writing makes me float
      music carrying each beautiful note
      your presence in wishing well
      thank you for the peace and love
      I wish the same to you
      by sending word
      carried by a special
      peace loving white dove

      peace and love to you, too. j.k (jennifer)

      Like

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