The Writer Within #9

The Writer Within
By Jennifer Kiley
11.08.12
November Month of the Verse 30 days 30 verses #9

walking the path in autumn alone and pensive or just taking in the beauty

The Writer Within
By Jennifer Kiley
11.08.12 #9

the writer within
did i believe in myself
when i was a teen
a professional told me
after reading my poems
“you’ve got the eye.
you see in a special way
you should continue
developing your writing.”

when i was little
my grandma and i
created a secret alphabet
it would remain secret
between only us
so when we wrote
no one could read
our letters but us
that’s when i started writing

as a young teenager
i wrote from memory
the entire screenplay
of an anti-war movie
word for word in accuracy
in action and design
it was a love story too

i wrote my first novella
in high school
had no respect for the teacher
he was stupid and dull
not inspirational at all
the novella was my idea
for an end of year project
to me a great story
i remember it perfectly well
another anti-war story
it had planes crashing
an injured amnesiac pilot
left for dead on an island beach
off the coast of England
love and bravery all around
it was what some
would call a good war
i think it was more
the glorifying of heroes
there is nothing glorious
about dying
even in the name
of one’s country
forgive me
you wont
but that is a true absurdity
no one should die
this way at all

there should be world peace
we must find it somehow
i think when someone
doesn’t want to play nice
take all his war toys away
send him on a time out
no more weapons
no more killing not today

what does this have to do
with the writer within
experiencing life
keeping informed
knowing your thoughts
have feelings
participating in life
developing beyond experience
an imagination
experimenting
creating one’s own voice
being a touch mad
not being afraid to be foolish

when writing
i’d say
your muse needs
a bit of discipline
one doesn’t want
to be too pushy
get her focusing
on the fiction
script writing too
let just a touch of eccentricity
sink into the mix
compassion
truthfulness
courage to write
even if the content is contrary
and keep creating the poetry
that must never stop
it brings inner meaning
deeper than any other
into our lives

stories in fictional prose
or screenplay structure
is a passion inside of me
that is when the lack
of confidence starts
i have been working hard
writing long hours nightly
editing
learning
new structuring
learning to play
experimenting with new topics
escaping the familiar

it may feel awkward
sometimes difficult
sometimes exhausting
but i’m expanding my choices

inside my unconscious
lives countless stories
in need of telling
what thoughts and feelings
are all about
and the world
outside of me

i have a voice
that speaks in words
written on the page
i’ve experienced life
in a significant way
traumatic mixed with
dramatic times
imaginations grows
many dreams
i’m working on
the muse and i
need freedom too

writing poems
won’t ever stop
my soul can’t live
without them

my stories
need expressing now
attention they’ve been lacking
i’m feeling trapped
the words want out
from the writer’s mind
who loves the words

beyond life
always feeling
the presence of the words
talking out loud
inside my head.
so much dialog
needs to be said
the words they need
to be written

words coming together
the meaning set free
my mind would
have time to stop thinking
it would let me rest
relax a bit
try not to think of reality
where doubts set in
this doesn’t feel real
thinking i’m a writer
it’s like believing
in fairies too
but i do

i love writing
more than anything
except making connections
with certain people
who i know will understand
the words i say
without need for explanations
cause we worked out
a special shorthand too
the way my grandma
and i use to do

in our world now
we need our life
filled with love
all our dreams
our writing themes
and sleep that doesn’t
have nightmares
that would do
oh yes,
and all our dreams
come true

© Jennifer Kiley 2012

[youtube=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fi1sBwV1-tU&w=670&h=407]
Pink Floyd- The Dark Side of the Moon [Full Album]

3 thoughts on “The Writer Within #9

  1. You must squeeze out of yourself every sensation, every thought, every image, — mercilessly, without reserve and without remorse: you must search the darkest corners of your heart, the most remote recesses of your brain, — you must search them for the image, for the glamour, for the right expression. And you must do it sincerely, at any cost: you must do it so that at the end of your day’s work you should feel exhausted, emptied of every sensation and every thought, with a blank mind and an aching heart, with the notion that there is nothing, — nothing left in you. ~ Joseph Conrad ~

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  2. Words and thoughts and feelings too they all fit together to create something new. I love writing too. You could be alone and get to talk to yourself or whoever you wanted to. They didn’t have to be real. You could feel what you want and let or make them feel or think what you wanted them to. It was such a freedom to have. You could go anywhere. Where ever you want. I’ve created mysteries and far-away worlds, some drama and fantasies and scripts that let me speak the truth, No one knows what is real or is fictional. Sometimes you don’t even know what you’re writing’s letting out. Take time away and read it anew and you will find things that you never knew about you or you never thought you would say. How deep that you go is all up to you. Such freedom in expressing whatever comes through. Expanding the depths of all you are learning. Creating a place where you can satisfy your yearnings. It’s all magic no mirrors the tricks don’t have sleeves. What you’re writing about will help to set you free. That’s some of why I love writing in a creative sense, You have your complete imagination no limit and you don’t have to pay rent. It’s in your head until you want to let it all out. Who knows what you will be revealing. Not even you always know. Poetic I think. You have a way to inspire. I love that we’re writers but you’ve reached so much higher. But that is alright I am learning from you and someday maybe I will write almost maybe not quite close to as good or great as you. a.l. J.K.

    ps. look to your right and what do you see something quite insightful something we all need to read.

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