making dreams

making dreams
by jennifer kiley

love for angels

whispers in the night
across quiet moonlight glow
wanders in my mind

© Jennifer Kiley 2012

Pink Floyd-Shine On You Crazy Diamond

Remember when you were young,
You shone like the sun.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Now there’s a look in your eyes,
Like black holes in the sky.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
You were caught on the crossfire
Of childhood and stardom,
Blown on the steel breeze.
Come on you target for faraway laughter,
Come on you stranger, you legend, you martyr, and shine!

You reached for the secret too soon,
You cried for the moon.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Threatened by shadows at night,
And exposed in the light.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Well you wore out your welcome
With random precision,
Rode on the steel breeze.
Come on you raver, you seer of visions,
Come on you painter, you piper, you prisoner, and shine!

Nobody knows where you are,
How near or how far.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Pile on many more layers
And I’ll be joining you there.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
And we’ll bask in the shadow
Of yesterday’s triumph,
And sail on the steel breeze.
Come on you boy child,
You winner and loser,
Come on you miner for truth and delusion, and shine!

8 thoughts on “making dreams

  1. I was just thinking about posting “Shine On You Crazy Diamond” last night….. I have been listening to a lot of Pink Floyd recently. Not a good sign for me, but at least it isn’t Alice in Chains which worries my therapist whenever I go down that road. 🙂


    • I think i am addicted to Pink Floyd. Only recently did I start listening to their music. Now it seems like I can barely listen to anything else sometimes. I understand the possible ramifications from listening to too much Pink Floyd. My therapist would probably say the same thing for me as your’s says about Alice in Chains. I listened to a piece of their’s late this afternoon after I read your comment. That particular song seemed ok. What are the worries of your therapist? Mine prefers that I laugh more. I tend to get into dark low heavy places and the music follows or leads depending on which direction you are looking. I wrote another poem and put it together with another combo video of Pink Floyd. I wish the music lasted longer on this one.

      I read what you wrote ontheplumtree. Quite exceptional bravery. We share some things in common. I wrote something myself. I follow that particular blog quite closely. Hope we connect soon again. J.K. 🙂


      • Yeah, i do not know what is up with my Pink Floyd obsession… its not like I haven’t heard them before. My therapist gets worked up about Alice in Chains because it usually means that I am in a dark place. Pink Floyd doesn’t have the same effect except for the song “The Final Cut” and “Mother”.


        • I listened to and watched the videos of the two Pink Floyd’s that your therapist gets worked up over. At first The Final Cut seemed ok. I liked the sound. It was the message I am not so sure about. And anything with the word “mother” in it turns me away but I watched and it is truly a disturbing video and the lyrics are not far behind the atom bombs blowing up the world and mother dearest being quite weird. All and all they are curious pieces of music. I definitely would listen to them again, esp. The Final Cut. I really liked the sound of it. May I ask what in these two particular pieces that disturb you. Mother the images alone aren’t good for the eyes. Just a curious question. I have all kinds of reactions to so many different pieces of music. Some take me way down into the deepest darkest places. Right now I seem to be okay but I keep watch of those triggers and signs that something is brewing. J.K jennifer


          • I am also triggered by songs, certain pieces of classical music, and places. My therapist doesn’t like “The Final Cut” for fairly obvious reasons. If I am listening to it, it means that I am starting to slide down the rabbit hole. I spend a lot of my time there while pretending that everything is hunky dory. As for “Mother”, you can replace the parent in the song with “Father.” Parents are supposed to protect their children, not make them neurotic psychos, and my dad was a very emotionally controlling man much like the woman in the song. He helped me build my wall, and I can not seem to to tear it down completely. If I dismantle the “wall” then people can hurt me. So, when I start listening to a lot of Floyd or Zeppelin (Ten Years Gone, in particular), it usually means I am slipping. I do not know why she gets worked up by Alice in Chains, though, because it usually means I am angry about something.

            I have to keep a close watch on myself because I am triggered by a lot of things;the way someone speaks to me, a place that reminds me of a time when I was younger and free of this disorder and the meds, a song that has a particular message (usually of loss since I have lost many things and people in my life). It is like I am constantly on the brink of falling down the rabbit hole, hence the title of the blog. I have achieved a “stable” madness, but the madness isn’t really gone. It is always lurking right below the surface waiting for me to start sliding. But, for the time being I am mostly okay. I have some issues that I am struggling with, but I refuse to let them begin the spiral.


            • I know what you mean about the Wall. Mine was pretty high. It is slowly coming down. I’d rather feel the pain, which is caused by something that is usually just in my mind, not always but I can get on the dark side and see that it’s not there at all. I’m beginning to be able to see what in my mind appears to be real but it isn’t at all. Being able to see that. To step out of myself and realize that it is just the bipolar f**king with my brain. Nothing bad is happening. It is hard not to feel the pain but I have to keep telling myself to look at the evidence. See what is really there. Something that can be totally supportive, I will see as the exact opposite. Even realizing I am seeing a delusion doesn’t make it any easier to keep the truth in my mind. At least, I know that it is all in my imagination. I do have an extremely vivid imagination. And I must say this is the first time I realized that the imagination isn’t always my friendly muse. It can be taken over by the demons. Got to watch out for that one and remember it. Hope you are doing okay today. Sorry it took so long to get back to you but have been fighting the demons and last night got into a good obsessive place and editing a whole novel that I wrote a while ago. I decided I am going to work on it. Do some editing and rewrites and make it into something that I can convert into a screenplay and also have it be a finished piece of work. It was always too painful to go back to it because of some of the content being so disturbing to me. Well, I better get to it then. Write anytime about anything. J.K. Jennifer


              • I have to say that one of my most painful memories I came to terms with by writing about it (at 3am, I had never even really spoken about it), I printed it, re-read it, took it to my therapist for her to read, and then I was done with it. For nearly 25 years, I had battled this particular incident, and it nearly ruined me, but writing about it, and thereby moving it out of my mind to some other place really helped. I have not yet posted it to my blog. Not quite there yet.


              • when you feel the time is right you will release even further but for now it seems you’ve expressed it where you need to. My therapist feels that I am doing the right things when I released some of my nightmares onto my blog. I don’t go into details but use the power of words to exercise the demons. you have to get them out of your head or they will just haunt you until you do. i was able to talk to two people today who helped me accept it was alright to let go of someone who was quite toxic in my life. i am sometimes too kind and my conscience makes me regress back to when i was a child. being a victim then makes it hard to push someone away who is harmful to me now. well today i closed the decision i made and now i feel close to being free from this person who was f**king with my head for a long time. gone they are now. J.K.


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