By Jennifer Kiley
The Secret Keeper
August 26th, 2012

Abstract Fractal-The Perfectly Random Design of the Universe

make her live alone
give her a scare
fill her with fear
she’ll learn to care
for her self there
but who really cares

why are you constantly
involving your self
in relationships
that encourage you too
abandon me?
to leave
my love behind

is it some sort of
sadistic game
your mind
has learned
to want to play
with her
to the insane

i am not able
to live alone
that is cruelty
to me you know
but if you leave
support me
give me the house
i keep the kids
you get visitation

but this
to will pass
with you
lies whispered
in your ear
watch out
for her
she betrays
she desires
to bring
tears to
my eyes
to fill me
with fears

then she will
i guarantee
destroy your life
she’s begun
her deadly
deed already
she’s gotten you
to doubt
your belief
in me
i’ve become
the enemy

i was wise
to rid myself
of her
maybe not
just in time

now someone
like you
a sucker
gets sucked in
by an emotional
a toxic one
a bat

be warned
stay away
i considered
her today

how could you
to someone’s
ulterior motives
her deceptions
and deceit
words she once
spoke of you
i never shared
and cruel

do not hear
my words alone
she is horribly
on her own

inside her mind
she labels me
what reason
i cannot bear
to listen
her negativity
trashing ones
i love
i trust
spreading lies
with words
she fills
your mind
with lies
disorienting you
decieving you
seekimg revenge
on me
my rejection
you see

words spoken
in my mind are:
“leave my life alone
my mate’s too
that i have
to say
to you

why must
do i still
love her?
yes i do
but she needs
to find
stop blaming me
my transgressions

the truth is
they were rapes
of my body
of my soul
by vistimizers
entering through
my sensitivities
my vulnerabilities
to please
my abusers
of old

so much anger
lives inside my heart
there is a tiredness
from fighting
i want the fighting
to stop
i have my demons
i don’t need
to take on
any more

leave us alone
find some other
the one
you have
does not
make them
want to be
for you
any longer

Iron Maiden-Fear of the Dark

7 thoughts on “Betrayal

  1. “…Be with me always—take any form—drive me mad! only do not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you! Oh, God! it is unutterable! I cannot live without my life! I cannot live without my soul!” ~Emily Brontë~ Wuthering Heights


    • you should go to a reply i just made on my post “bring out the dragons.” i think i was losing my mind momentarily or maybe not so momentarily. life has been a bit crazy this past week or so. it is only starting to settle down and now it has taken a turn. thought we were going to talk tonight but we will do it some other time. i think we are on parellel lines in our lives. we had some very similar life experiences and are sorting them out at almost the same time. and we have some of the same creative interests that we use to express ourselves. what is going on inside of us is rumunatung and vibrating on the same or similar levels. we resonate well together. we need to deal with writing our stories and living our life. they aren’t so different. there is so much for us to talk about. our trust has been building and we are getting to a better place of trust even though neither of us does trust very well. for extremely good reasons. i’m off to bed while i still think it’s a good idea. bye for now. jen


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